& keep screaming.
I am alone. I've always been alone.
Selflessly selfish. I'm catering to you before i'm catering to myself in pathetic hopes that maybe someday the same favor, even on a minuscule scale, can be reciprocated. I'm screaming so loud from the very bottom of this hole, but from the broken surface, it's nothing more than murmurs. I'm screaming for something. Maybe its clarity. Gratification. Tranquility. No.. something else. & maybe i'll never know what that 'something' is. This gaping hole will just have to be. Not to be filled, but forever to be dug deeper. & at the very bottom of this gaping hole is where i'll still be. Screaming.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
No need to focus when there's nothing worth seeing
My mouth. My fucking dumb mouth. The taste was of ashtray & vomit.
It's fitting.
It's fitting.
Friday, June 26, 2009
To one of the greatest icons of all time
One of the most important people in this world, one musician i can actually say is an artist i'll forever hold dearly, passed. Never in my life has a celebrity's death ever stood out to me, or even bothered me even a fourth the way it does now.
"In My Trials
And My tribulations
Through Our Doubts
And Frustrations
In My Violence
In My Turbulence
Through My Fear
And My Confessions
In My Anguish And My Pain
Through My Joy And My Sorrow
In The Promise Of Another Tomorrow
I'll Never Let You Part
For You're Always In My Heart."
Farewell, Michael Jackson.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
I won't forget
Fuck this day.
My insides decay in such a subtle manor. It still breaks my heart knowing youre not physically here. I love you. Please come back. You don't know what i'd give to just hear that you never really left & maybe you just staged what happened more than a yr ago. That maybe you just were tired of us. & that maybe had another family you'd rather dedicate yr life to. I wouldn't care. I would rather have that my reality than the mess you've left us with.
My insides decay in such a subtle manor. It still breaks my heart knowing youre not physically here. I love you. Please come back. You don't know what i'd give to just hear that you never really left & maybe you just staged what happened more than a yr ago. That maybe you just were tired of us. & that maybe had another family you'd rather dedicate yr life to. I wouldn't care. I would rather have that my reality than the mess you've left us with.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
journalistic Dynamo
Los Angeles-- Social network website, MySpace, falls short in "arms race" among competitors.
As of January 23, there were reportedly 598,209,343 people currently holding accounts with MySpace, of which 321,914,002 were deemed "inactive," said MySpace media manager Greg Domo.
"This is the lowest rate of inactive accounts and new member turnout since MySpace's inception in 2003," he said. "We're literally in an arms race, and sad it's sad to say, but we're honestly losing."
The major contingent in MySpace's current slump was found to be the lack of simplicity offered from networks such as Facebook and Twitter.
Avid social network user Aguinaldo Commonsworth said, "(MySpace) just doesn't cut it anymore."
Commonsworth, who has had an account with MySpace since 2003, argued that the reason why the website has been been lagging was due to the "over ambitiousness" of profile and homepage layouts and pointless amalgamation of features from Facebook and Twitter. "(Facebook and Twitter's) rise was so unprecedented because they offered services so basic. No hideously crowded coding, or an almost intrinsic need to use a pseudonym for a display name," he said.
"It's one thing to f--- around, haphazardly, with your homepages and profiles, but why would they have to incorporate things like status updates and other applications like a instant messaging toolbar?" It just makes them seem like biters," he said.
MySpace CEO Tom Anderson was not new to the blatancy of MySpace's abrupt unpopularity. "We're just doing what we can to keep afloat," he said.
"We thought that by adding these features, it would just a bigger incentive for people to keep an active account." Anderson said suddenly sobbingly, "It's kinda futile trying to grab new users... the most we can hope for is to do the best we can to keep our existing ones."
Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg expressed disappointment in Anderson and MySpace personnel.
"This is really a new low (for them)," he said. "There was a friendly sense of competitive camaraderie between me and Tom at one point, then it just got bitter."
Legal action for copyright infringement has been filed by Zuckerberg, but there have been no further details released, nor has there been conformation of another lawsuit from Twitter co-founder Jack Dorsey.
Dick Eshard
CNN
As of January 23, there were reportedly 598,209,343 people currently holding accounts with MySpace, of which 321,914,002 were deemed "inactive," said MySpace media manager Greg Domo.
"This is the lowest rate of inactive accounts and new member turnout since MySpace's inception in 2003," he said. "We're literally in an arms race, and sad it's sad to say, but we're honestly losing."
The major contingent in MySpace's current slump was found to be the lack of simplicity offered from networks such as Facebook and Twitter.
Avid social network user Aguinaldo Commonsworth said, "(MySpace) just doesn't cut it anymore."
Commonsworth, who has had an account with MySpace since 2003, argued that the reason why the website has been been lagging was due to the "over ambitiousness" of profile and homepage layouts and pointless amalgamation of features from Facebook and Twitter. "(Facebook and Twitter's) rise was so unprecedented because they offered services so basic. No hideously crowded coding, or an almost intrinsic need to use a pseudonym for a display name," he said.
"It's one thing to f--- around, haphazardly, with your homepages and profiles, but why would they have to incorporate things like status updates and other applications like a instant messaging toolbar?" It just makes them seem like biters," he said.
MySpace CEO Tom Anderson was not new to the blatancy of MySpace's abrupt unpopularity. "We're just doing what we can to keep afloat," he said.
"We thought that by adding these features, it would just a bigger incentive for people to keep an active account." Anderson said suddenly sobbingly, "It's kinda futile trying to grab new users... the most we can hope for is to do the best we can to keep our existing ones."
Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg expressed disappointment in Anderson and MySpace personnel.
"This is really a new low (for them)," he said. "There was a friendly sense of competitive camaraderie between me and Tom at one point, then it just got bitter."
Legal action for copyright infringement has been filed by Zuckerberg, but there have been no further details released, nor has there been conformation of another lawsuit from Twitter co-founder Jack Dorsey.
Dick Eshard
CNN
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Oh, right. Now I remember why i dont clean my room.
Because it hurts to. Like reopening scabbed over gashes that bleed nostalgia so profusely.
Happiness.
Anger.
Despondency.
Regret.
What a fucking rush..
All things kept to remember better times & shitty ones.
A mess was/is my life. I cant let go of these things. Almost every bit of seemingly meaningless matter is significant to me. Old clothes, notes from high school, stickers, pictures, magazines, pins of bands i've almost forgotten about.
I can't let go. I can keep cleaning, but i'll just find a new way to pack rat this shit somewhere.
My room will ALWAYS be a mess.
& for the most part, i'm ok with that.
Happiness.
Anger.
Despondency.
Regret.
What a fucking rush..
All things kept to remember better times & shitty ones.
A mess was/is my life. I cant let go of these things. Almost every bit of seemingly meaningless matter is significant to me. Old clothes, notes from high school, stickers, pictures, magazines, pins of bands i've almost forgotten about.
I can't let go. I can keep cleaning, but i'll just find a new way to pack rat this shit somewhere.
My room will ALWAYS be a mess.
& for the most part, i'm ok with that.
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